It's funny being away from home for the month of April. April just keeps becoming a bigger month for me and being 1100 miles from home certainly makes it interesting.
While I'm not really a homesick person, part of me definitely wished home was closer this week. I imagine a week from now I will definitely be feeling that again. It's not that I'm dying to see people, (though I love them!) it just feels weird not seeing some of the people I always see on the big days of this month. This year, every single person I saw on my birthday I had NEVER seen on my birthday... Think about that. I'm a sophomore in college and all of a sudden I'm spending my birthday with ALL NEW people. Not one person I saw this year has spent my birthday with me. And while there is an excitement in that as I know a lot of these people will be spending many more birthdays with me, you can't help but feel a little funny without all those people you're used to making that day special. I'm very blessed by my friends in Texas and my close friends did make me feel loved but birthdays with new people are always weird. So many people don't know you well enough to remember your birthday let alone what you like to do on it or how to celebrate it with you. It's not bad. Just different.
Good Friday is another big day. I can't remember the last Good Friday in which I wasn't at some friends house watching The Passion of the Christ. Even though we all kind of dreaded the whole thing, there was something beautiful about sitting down and experiencing a glimpse of the true level of sacrifice Jesus made for us on "this day". This year was the first year I didn't do that. Now, I don't think it's completely necessary to watch The Passion on Good Friday and I am definitely sleeping a bit sounder tonight without that icky little visual of Satan fresh in my mind. (I hate that part of that movie!) The fact of the matter is that it's just different.
The whole Easter weekend was much later last year. I remember because it was a week after Christian had passed away and it was after his funeral. I think his passing has had a little umbrella over this first week of the month too. That anniversary is drawing so near and it is just crazy to think it has been a year without him. I'm anxious to see how April 15 will feel without any of my Illinois friends around....
And finally, the anxiousness of knowing that school is almost over. Part of me is overjoyed at the very thought of a break on the horizon. I've loved this year so much and am really proud of the work I've done and I'm beyond grateful for the plans God has made clear to me here and how he's loved me through all the adjustments and growth. Still, the other part is already mourning the fact that I'm most likely going 3 months without seeing my ACU friends. I hate the fact that summer is going to be like all of the Fall with missing people. Being far away from school makes going home a little sucky because when I'm home, I miss my life at school, and vis versa. I know next year we'll be great and we'll all stay in touch. I'm sure I'll see a few of them. It's just a bummer to know that right now, my friendships/families are ONE or the OTHER. It makes me want to savor these last 5 weeks of school for the simple fact that a third of my way into the summer, I'll be dying to get back to this tiny Texas town.
Blah, this whole post was much more organized and poetic in my head. But at least I got it out. I enjoy reading my blogs so I'm hoping I'll be looking to blogging a lot more. I always love writing, I just don't practice it nearly enough to feel like I can adequately express myself through words.
We'll see if this holds up.
