I hate theatre.

I love theatre. (Get it? It's funny cuz the title says otherwise!)

I saw My Fair Lady at the Marriott this evening. It was probably one of my least favorite shows I have seen at the Marriott simply because, I don't think I am a fan of the show. There's a show that is full of unnecessary songs and slow dialogue.

However, I still left completely high on life... as I do after all Marriott shows. Meeting amazingly talented cast members always helps add to that. ;)

It's a love/hate relationship with what theatre does to me. I can't imagine people not understanding the passion I have for this craft but then again I can't imagine people understanding it. Theatre was something I was introduced to like any other hobby. I was a little kid and my mom took to see some highschool musicals (I think we knew people in them...?) and I liked them so we saw more. We eventually saw my first BIG show, Peter Pan and I fell in LOVE with what was happening. I REMEMBER wanting to meet everybody after but my mom, not being a theatre person, didn't know about the magical "stage door". Later I saw Sleeping Beauty through a childrens theatre company in a much smaller theatre and I STILL loved it. They had auditions for Annie and I decided to go. I was to scared to sing and I was super nervous the whole time. I auditioned for Hansel and Gretel next and got Hansel... from there on out I was hooked.

I've already reached the point to where I can say "Ive done theatre for over half my life" and I'm just ALMOST 17. I can't believe it's stuck with me so long...

Sometimes, I wish I thought professional theatre was my calling... but I don't. I know I am not good enough. Don't get me wrong, I do not mean to be a downer with no confidence. I do not believe God has given me a passion for something without the ability to do it, but I know I do not have the best voice out there and I definitely can not dance... and my acting abilities are just not developed.
That being so, I still can't imagine NOT doing theatre. I don't care if I am the 60 yr old man doing community shows at "the church" (that was most definitely meant to be said in a hick accent) I will still be doing theatre. Second to God, I can't imagine my life without it. Theatre has become a major part of my identity. (I hope JESUS has too haha)

I like to think that at SOME point I will do something outside of community theatre all my life. Who wouldn't love to try their hand at atleast SOMETHING professional, right? Marriott has open calls all the time and so do other companies... I'd be lying if I said I don't think I will go to them and just TRY it.

I don't think theatre won't be how I make a living... but I think it will be how I spend my life.
Right now, the hardest part is just not knowing what God is going to do with it. I know he wouldn't fill me with an overflowing passion for something if he didn't have plans to use it, it's just hard to see theatre being used in a way besides becoming PROFESSIONAL, you know?
Who knows? God could throw a curve ball and I could do professional theatre... God could throw a bigger curve ball and I could find a different passion along the way. (That is almost scary to think though)
Bottom line- I love theatre. I love what I do and I just want to keep doing it. I want to learn about it, get better at it, teach others about it. I just need to trust GOD that he knows what he is doing with all these wants and to just put my love of theatre in his hand and make it a part of loving him... then I know it'll take me where it needs to get me.

I'm really REALLY thankful God gave me theatre. I wish everybody knew what it was like to be passionate about something. I'd be lying if I said that I've never been given a hard time about it, but I'd be lying even more if I said it isn't COMPLETELY worth it.