Christmastime is (almost) here and OTHER thoughts. (LONG ONE FOLKS)

I can not BELIEVE that Christmas is 4 days away.
This part of Christmas is always weird for me.
I wouldn't say I get DEPRESSED nor would I even say I get DOWN. I just think I get BLUE. (Appreciate that I made BLUE the color blue)
I spend the whole season trying to accomplish THIS or accomplish THAT but in the long run ALL OF IT never gets done. I always have Christmas movies I didn't get to watch, places I didn't get to go, people I didn't get to shop for, and things I didn't get to accomplish.

This Christmas we got our Christmas tree early, I watched a lot of my favorite movies, and I listened to Christmas music all season.
I was also a part of a Christmas show at Willow. "Where Are You Christmas" was stressful to say the least. After 7 hour church days, another 3 hours of rehearsal was not on the "I WANT" List. But we made it through and I got to hang with some pretty cool people and work for something that wasn't INSTANTLY gratifying. BUT we did a show on Saturday (CALLBACK DAY MIGHT I ADD) for over 500 people struggling to get gifts or food for their family. I got to bless other people through it... and THAT is what Christmas is about. I WISH I got to spend more time this year on OTHER people.

I always hate being asked what I want for Christmas. I rarely WANT something yet every Christmas I am just so blessed with things under the tree. It's great and all, I mean WHO DOESN'T WAN STUFF? Especially now that I work I know what it feels like to want to buy something for somebody just because you care about them and you feel like you CAN but I can't help but feel a tiny bit... well GUILTY isn't the right word... *insert right word here*.

OFF TOPIC-
Life has been complicated lately. Not BAD or STRESSFUL. I'm constantly very blessed, trying to keep spending time with God. I don't feel lacking in my "walk" or anything but life is just COMPLICATED. Friends are home from college which is GREAT cuz I miss them all but it brings its own troubles as far as seeing everybody and the drama that inevitably ensues. Not to mention a show is starting off so people are falling into their GROUPS. On top of that there is still school and church friends and the work that needs to get done with those things.
OVERALL it just makes life complicated. I love my friends and am again very blessed but I have a lot of things I keep in constant prayer when it comes to friends right now.

I really feel God has been making some friendship changes in my life. Not saying he's been telling me to "cut people off" (hate that phrase or anything) but I really have felt God lately telling me to "just hold on cuz things are gonna shift". I don't feel like things are going to change for the worst or anything I just feel prepared for some differences coming up and I can't wait to see what they are.
-THAT BEING SAID, I am very ready to go to California. Like I said I love my friends BUT I think a break from everybody out in IL will be nice (yes, family included) Not saying I won't be texting and facebooking my friends the whole time But 9ish days away from Algonquin/LITH/Crystal Lake/Cary/Elgin/Huntley will be nice.

Moral of this whole ramble of a post- I can't believe Christmas is over here. I wish it could stay around longer. Everybody is happier and in good spirits but that doesn't mean life isn't still FULL. I'm looking forward for a break from IL so I can come back for the New Year ready for all the changes God is going to throw my way. I know if I hold onto Dad's hand I'm gonna be ready for anything. He's got big things planned... I can feel it!

♫Could it be? Yes it could! Something's coming, something GOOD! IF I CAN WAIT!♫

"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding."
Job 37:5

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!