I deleted my other blog tonight.
I WAS reading through the entire Bible all the way and posting about it but I just fell behind and I know myself. I don't want to set myself up for failure.
I still want to read through it all the way at some point. But I started reading Crazy Love again and I think that there are other ways God needs me to learn about him. If I'm stuck just the next passage a night, I'll get stressed when I'm behind, or when I forget I'll feel bad. Also if I am tired, I won't keep an open heart to what I should read. Ill finish the chapter and then go to bed.
This is better I think.
Off to read Crazy Love and hit the hay before midnight! WOAH!
Here's praying my cold goes away!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I wouldn't say that EXACTLY... not EXACTLY
Now now, I would not say that I am a hardcore ORIGINALIST!
Matthew's Definition of Originalist
O-rig-i-nal-ist.
1. One who believes solely in a piece of media's original performers and/or characteristics
Ex. "He didn't like the Sweeney Todd film because he is an originalist. Also, it's very scary."
2. A really cool word Matt Silar made up.
Ex. "No, no, I am talking about originalist!" "Oh, you mean that really cool word Matt Silar made up?" "Exactly!"
Now that we understand my choice of terms, I can continue.
As I was saying, I am not a harcore originalist but I do believe STRONGLY in "a piece of media's original performers and/or characteristics"
The example that comes to my mind right away is... guess it...
SWEENEY TODD!
Let's look at the team for the film. Johnny Depp is the lead, Helena Bonham Carter is once again a lead because she's dating the director and one of the most successful directors of all time is in charge... the one and only Tim Burton. Throw in Alan Rickman and tie it all together with Sondheim music and you should have struck gold correct?
INCORRECT.
The film's ridiculous gore and tomato soup blood is only part of what takes away the original brilliance. While Johnny Depp does a fantastic job, he lacks the original "creepiness" of Len Cariou. Depp's portrayal is almost HALLOWEEN rather than DERANGED in my opinion.
The real problem with the movie however is Helen Bonham Carter. Tell me how she comes even CLOSE to the BRILLIANCE of Angela Lansbury... anybody? anybody? I thought not. Her performance had nothing to praise. Her vocals were week and her take on the character was completely opposite of the original portrayal. While I am all for making the role your own... when you are going up against ANGELA LANSBURY, you better have one HECK of your own.
The next thing that comes to mind is The Little Mermaid (The Broadway show)
The music, in my opinion, is mediocre compared to the original score. Alan Menken is a phenomenal composer despite most of Beauty and the Beast showing up in all of his projects since. His music for the Broadway production is GREAT, but it doesn't fit the original score. With Beauty and the Beast, you forget what songs are in the movie and which were written for the show. This is NOT the case with The Little Mermaid.
ALSO, While I am in NO WAY AT ALL RACIST and I think many of the diversified performers are fantastic, the Little Mermaid is FILLED with characters WE RECOGNIZE... We KNOW what they look like an I am sorry but
WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE
THIS GUY
Matthew's Definition of Originalist
O-rig-i-nal-ist.
1. One who believes solely in a piece of media's original performers and/or characteristics
Ex. "He didn't like the Sweeney Todd film because he is an originalist. Also, it's very scary."
2. A really cool word Matt Silar made up.
Ex. "No, no, I am talking about originalist!" "Oh, you mean that really cool word Matt Silar made up?" "Exactly!"
Now that we understand my choice of terms, I can continue.
As I was saying, I am not a harcore originalist but I do believe STRONGLY in "a piece of media's original performers and/or characteristics"
The example that comes to my mind right away is... guess it...
SWEENEY TODD!
Let's look at the team for the film. Johnny Depp is the lead, Helena Bonham Carter is once again a lead because she's dating the director and one of the most successful directors of all time is in charge... the one and only Tim Burton. Throw in Alan Rickman and tie it all together with Sondheim music and you should have struck gold correct?
INCORRECT.
The film's ridiculous gore and tomato soup blood is only part of what takes away the original brilliance. While Johnny Depp does a fantastic job, he lacks the original "creepiness" of Len Cariou. Depp's portrayal is almost HALLOWEEN rather than DERANGED in my opinion.
The real problem with the movie however is Helen Bonham Carter. Tell me how she comes even CLOSE to the BRILLIANCE of Angela Lansbury... anybody? anybody? I thought not. Her performance had nothing to praise. Her vocals were week and her take on the character was completely opposite of the original portrayal. While I am all for making the role your own... when you are going up against ANGELA LANSBURY, you better have one HECK of your own.
The next thing that comes to mind is The Little Mermaid (The Broadway show)
The music, in my opinion, is mediocre compared to the original score. Alan Menken is a phenomenal composer despite most of Beauty and the Beast showing up in all of his projects since. His music for the Broadway production is GREAT, but it doesn't fit the original score. With Beauty and the Beast, you forget what songs are in the movie and which were written for the show. This is NOT the case with The Little Mermaid.
ALSO, While I am in NO WAY AT ALL RACIST and I think many of the diversified performers are fantastic, the Little Mermaid is FILLED with characters WE RECOGNIZE... We KNOW what they look like an I am sorry but
THIS GUY
WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE
THIS GUY
I'm just saying, some of the characters need to stay as they are... Sebastian would be weird if he was WHITE... I don't see the difference. Show me one white simba LION KING...
Also, need we be reminded of the last time Disney changed the race of a character on Broadway? When Toni Braxton was Belle... they added ANOTHER song to the already 2.5 hour musical.
But that is beside the point.
Second... Sheri Renee Scott.
I know she is great... don't get me wrong. Her portrayal of Kathy in The Last Five Years is spot on but her URSULA?
I know they rewrote the role to fit her character choice better but COME ON DISNEY! Ursula is probably one of the most well known Disney Villians just because of her song. The HUGE Purple Octopus played by BRILLIANT Pat Carrolll blew Sherie Renee Scott out of the water! (pardon the pun) Scott singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" leaves to be desired and her overall deviousness becomes this annoying WOE IS ME character.
Finally the changes they made to the plot still throw me off. There was something great about Ariel's FATHER making her a mermaid but in the show, Ariel breaks Ursula's shell of song and she gets to STAY HUMAN...? Basically Ariel get's exactly what she wants and just wants her dad's approval. FAIL ON FAMILY DISNEY, FAIL.
Overall it disappoints me deeply...
FINALLY
Let's talk about all these SEQUELS.
Remember when they were going to make a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel? Thank the LORD they threw that train wreck of an idea away. The original film is pure brilliance, if it didn't live up to it they would have completely screwed themselves over.
Then there was that window in early 2000s when Disney was spitting out DIRECT TO DVD sequels left and right. Tarzan and Jane, Cinderella 2 When Dreams Come True, Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 which was actually okay..., Lady and the Tramp 2 Scamp's Adventure, Lion King 1/2. (Lion King 2 was in 1998 and I liked that one... haha)
Moral is, I feel people see a great piece of work and try to milk it rather than just leave it be in it's brilliance. Sometimes Musical Movies work out... like Chicago, or Hairspray.
Sometime's Sequels are better than the original like Toy Story 2!
But sometimes, the original is the only way to go.
I'm not really an originalist... but I am.
Also I know the 2 main things I mentioned are a good 2 or 3 years old but I can still talk about them. It's my blog.
Also, need we be reminded of the last time Disney changed the race of a character on Broadway? When Toni Braxton was Belle... they added ANOTHER song to the already 2.5 hour musical.
But that is beside the point.
Second... Sheri Renee Scott.
I know she is great... don't get me wrong. Her portrayal of Kathy in The Last Five Years is spot on but her URSULA?
I know they rewrote the role to fit her character choice better but COME ON DISNEY! Ursula is probably one of the most well known Disney Villians just because of her song. The HUGE Purple Octopus played by BRILLIANT Pat Carrolll blew Sherie Renee Scott out of the water! (pardon the pun) Scott singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" leaves to be desired and her overall deviousness becomes this annoying WOE IS ME character.
Finally the changes they made to the plot still throw me off. There was something great about Ariel's FATHER making her a mermaid but in the show, Ariel breaks Ursula's shell of song and she gets to STAY HUMAN...? Basically Ariel get's exactly what she wants and just wants her dad's approval. FAIL ON FAMILY DISNEY, FAIL.
Overall it disappoints me deeply...
FINALLY
Let's talk about all these SEQUELS.
Remember when they were going to make a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel? Thank the LORD they threw that train wreck of an idea away. The original film is pure brilliance, if it didn't live up to it they would have completely screwed themselves over.
Then there was that window in early 2000s when Disney was spitting out DIRECT TO DVD sequels left and right. Tarzan and Jane, Cinderella 2 When Dreams Come True, Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 which was actually okay..., Lady and the Tramp 2 Scamp's Adventure, Lion King 1/2. (Lion King 2 was in 1998 and I liked that one... haha)
Moral is, I feel people see a great piece of work and try to milk it rather than just leave it be in it's brilliance. Sometimes Musical Movies work out... like Chicago, or Hairspray.
Sometime's Sequels are better than the original like Toy Story 2!
But sometimes, the original is the only way to go.
I'm not really an originalist... but I am.
Also I know the 2 main things I mentioned are a good 2 or 3 years old but I can still talk about them. It's my blog.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Realizations are always good things.
I had an amazing God feeling today.
I've been losing my voice A LOT recently... not just "my voice isn't peak" but like "Holy cow my voice is gone" losing it. It's been stressing me and honestly a bit scary seeing as how singing is such a HUGE part of my life. I am going to an ENT just to make sure there is nothing wrong. I hope and think there isn't but if I have a doctor tell me that, I will feel better... and if it is something else I would rather find out now and take care of it now rather than it affect me later in life.
But as I was doing something in rehearsal tonight for Little Shop, I don't even know what, I got the tiniest bit of fright thinking about what would happen if this was a show... and I felt this like RUSH and right away I was like wow... that felt like GOD. I seriously heard him in my head say, "Matthew, do you HONESTLY think I would give this to you and then take it away like that?"
I felt so comforted by my father in that moment... and it made me realize that I've missed listening to God recently. I haven't taken enough time to talk to God or hear him out. I wholeheartedly believe God is going to keep me healthy and take care of me and give me the perseverance to make it through both Little Shop AND Cinderella.
The thing is, I know that the only way God will keep it that way is if I am responsible and honoring. I need to take care of myself- eat healthy, go to bed on time, (Tonight is a holiday thus an exception) get my work done, learn to say NO when I should, and spend time with my AMAZING heavenly father.
I've been losing my voice A LOT recently... not just "my voice isn't peak" but like "Holy cow my voice is gone" losing it. It's been stressing me and honestly a bit scary seeing as how singing is such a HUGE part of my life. I am going to an ENT just to make sure there is nothing wrong. I hope and think there isn't but if I have a doctor tell me that, I will feel better... and if it is something else I would rather find out now and take care of it now rather than it affect me later in life.
But as I was doing something in rehearsal tonight for Little Shop, I don't even know what, I got the tiniest bit of fright thinking about what would happen if this was a show... and I felt this like RUSH and right away I was like wow... that felt like GOD. I seriously heard him in my head say, "Matthew, do you HONESTLY think I would give this to you and then take it away like that?"
I felt so comforted by my father in that moment... and it made me realize that I've missed listening to God recently. I haven't taken enough time to talk to God or hear him out. I wholeheartedly believe God is going to keep me healthy and take care of me and give me the perseverance to make it through both Little Shop AND Cinderella.
The thing is, I know that the only way God will keep it that way is if I am responsible and honoring. I need to take care of myself- eat healthy, go to bed on time, (Tonight is a holiday thus an exception) get my work done, learn to say NO when I should, and spend time with my AMAZING heavenly father.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I hate theatre.
I love theatre. (Get it? It's funny cuz the title says otherwise!)
I saw My Fair Lady at the Marriott this evening. It was probably one of my least favorite shows I have seen at the Marriott simply because, I don't think I am a fan of the show. There's a show that is full of unnecessary songs and slow dialogue.
However, I still left completely high on life... as I do after all Marriott shows. Meeting amazingly talented cast members always helps add to that. ;)
It's a love/hate relationship with what theatre does to me. I can't imagine people not understanding the passion I have for this craft but then again I can't imagine people understanding it. Theatre was something I was introduced to like any other hobby. I was a little kid and my mom took to see some highschool musicals (I think we knew people in them...?) and I liked them so we saw more. We eventually saw my first BIG show, Peter Pan and I fell in LOVE with what was happening. I REMEMBER wanting to meet everybody after but my mom, not being a theatre person, didn't know about the magical "stage door". Later I saw Sleeping Beauty through a childrens theatre company in a much smaller theatre and I STILL loved it. They had auditions for Annie and I decided to go. I was to scared to sing and I was super nervous the whole time. I auditioned for Hansel and Gretel next and got Hansel... from there on out I was hooked.
I've already reached the point to where I can say "Ive done theatre for over half my life" and I'm just ALMOST 17. I can't believe it's stuck with me so long...
Sometimes, I wish I thought professional theatre was my calling... but I don't. I know I am not good enough. Don't get me wrong, I do not mean to be a downer with no confidence. I do not believe God has given me a passion for something without the ability to do it, but I know I do not have the best voice out there and I definitely can not dance... and my acting abilities are just not developed.
That being so, I still can't imagine NOT doing theatre. I don't care if I am the 60 yr old man doing community shows at "the church" (that was most definitely meant to be said in a hick accent) I will still be doing theatre. Second to God, I can't imagine my life without it. Theatre has become a major part of my identity. (I hope JESUS has too haha)
I like to think that at SOME point I will do something outside of community theatre all my life. Who wouldn't love to try their hand at atleast SOMETHING professional, right? Marriott has open calls all the time and so do other companies... I'd be lying if I said I don't think I will go to them and just TRY it.
I don't think theatre won't be how I make a living... but I think it will be how I spend my life.
Right now, the hardest part is just not knowing what God is going to do with it. I know he wouldn't fill me with an overflowing passion for something if he didn't have plans to use it, it's just hard to see theatre being used in a way besides becoming PROFESSIONAL, you know?
Who knows? God could throw a curve ball and I could do professional theatre... God could throw a bigger curve ball and I could find a different passion along the way. (That is almost scary to think though)
Bottom line- I love theatre. I love what I do and I just want to keep doing it. I want to learn about it, get better at it, teach others about it. I just need to trust GOD that he knows what he is doing with all these wants and to just put my love of theatre in his hand and make it a part of loving him... then I know it'll take me where it needs to get me.
I'm really REALLY thankful God gave me theatre. I wish everybody knew what it was like to be passionate about something. I'd be lying if I said that I've never been given a hard time about it, but I'd be lying even more if I said it isn't COMPLETELY worth it.
I saw My Fair Lady at the Marriott this evening. It was probably one of my least favorite shows I have seen at the Marriott simply because, I don't think I am a fan of the show. There's a show that is full of unnecessary songs and slow dialogue.
However, I still left completely high on life... as I do after all Marriott shows. Meeting amazingly talented cast members always helps add to that. ;)
It's a love/hate relationship with what theatre does to me. I can't imagine people not understanding the passion I have for this craft but then again I can't imagine people understanding it. Theatre was something I was introduced to like any other hobby. I was a little kid and my mom took to see some highschool musicals (I think we knew people in them...?) and I liked them so we saw more. We eventually saw my first BIG show, Peter Pan and I fell in LOVE with what was happening. I REMEMBER wanting to meet everybody after but my mom, not being a theatre person, didn't know about the magical "stage door". Later I saw Sleeping Beauty through a childrens theatre company in a much smaller theatre and I STILL loved it. They had auditions for Annie and I decided to go. I was to scared to sing and I was super nervous the whole time. I auditioned for Hansel and Gretel next and got Hansel... from there on out I was hooked.
I've already reached the point to where I can say "Ive done theatre for over half my life" and I'm just ALMOST 17. I can't believe it's stuck with me so long...
Sometimes, I wish I thought professional theatre was my calling... but I don't. I know I am not good enough. Don't get me wrong, I do not mean to be a downer with no confidence. I do not believe God has given me a passion for something without the ability to do it, but I know I do not have the best voice out there and I definitely can not dance... and my acting abilities are just not developed.
That being so, I still can't imagine NOT doing theatre. I don't care if I am the 60 yr old man doing community shows at "the church" (that was most definitely meant to be said in a hick accent) I will still be doing theatre. Second to God, I can't imagine my life without it. Theatre has become a major part of my identity. (I hope JESUS has too haha)
I like to think that at SOME point I will do something outside of community theatre all my life. Who wouldn't love to try their hand at atleast SOMETHING professional, right? Marriott has open calls all the time and so do other companies... I'd be lying if I said I don't think I will go to them and just TRY it.
I don't think theatre won't be how I make a living... but I think it will be how I spend my life.
Right now, the hardest part is just not knowing what God is going to do with it. I know he wouldn't fill me with an overflowing passion for something if he didn't have plans to use it, it's just hard to see theatre being used in a way besides becoming PROFESSIONAL, you know?
Who knows? God could throw a curve ball and I could do professional theatre... God could throw a bigger curve ball and I could find a different passion along the way. (That is almost scary to think though)
Bottom line- I love theatre. I love what I do and I just want to keep doing it. I want to learn about it, get better at it, teach others about it. I just need to trust GOD that he knows what he is doing with all these wants and to just put my love of theatre in his hand and make it a part of loving him... then I know it'll take me where it needs to get me.
I'm really REALLY thankful God gave me theatre. I wish everybody knew what it was like to be passionate about something. I'd be lying if I said that I've never been given a hard time about it, but I'd be lying even more if I said it isn't COMPLETELY worth it.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Ephesians 4:29
Just a verse I wanted to remember.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I wish I could say I follow that as much as I like too. Sadly, I don't. I mean, I do not swear... at all, never really been a struggle for me but sometimes I'll say something small out of anger like "Gah they are so stupid" or something like that. I know I'm frustrated but in the long run, it's not uplifting. Gonna try to work with God to improve on that.
Mercy it's late.
Had 2 GREAT conversations tonight though, and I learned a bit about myself, AND I have some things to pray about now. :) God is great even if sometimes his lessons don't end til 3ish am.
(REHEARSAL, SCHOOL, and LIFE START UP AGAIN TOMORROW! I'M SO READY! BRING IT ON 2010!)
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I wish I could say I follow that as much as I like too. Sadly, I don't. I mean, I do not swear... at all, never really been a struggle for me but sometimes I'll say something small out of anger like "Gah they are so stupid" or something like that. I know I'm frustrated but in the long run, it's not uplifting. Gonna try to work with God to improve on that.
Mercy it's late.
Had 2 GREAT conversations tonight though, and I learned a bit about myself, AND I have some things to pray about now. :) God is great even if sometimes his lessons don't end til 3ish am.
(REHEARSAL, SCHOOL, and LIFE START UP AGAIN TOMORROW! I'M SO READY! BRING IT ON 2010!)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Everybody in the world will disappoint you at some point or another, and you will disappoint them right back.
Everybody in the world will disappoint you at some point or another, and you will disappoint them right back.
That is frankly a bit amazing and AWESOME to me. I know it's weird that I find it awesome that everybody will disappoint me but it is. I believe the single biggest difference between humans and God is that God will never disappoint you but humans are unable to juggle caring for more than one person without dropping something at some point.
God loves us all... unconditionally... and knows how to. We don't know how to love because we have been hurt so we live with a guard up. We do not love unconditionally. There are conditions to our love. Everybody has conditions to their love. Parents love their kids no matter what, yes... but if that child betrays the family... the love becomes very different. Those are the facts. It is nothing PERSONAL or sensitive... it's merely the way we work because we have been HURT.
GOD, on the other hand loves us with unconditional love. Nothing we can do can change how much he loves us and how much he does to make things turn out the best way they can. What is so INCREDIBLE to me is that we disappoint God every day. We are greedy, deceitful, unloving, judgmental, and down right DIRTY every single day. (Disregarding the fact that dirty is usually attached to a sexual connotation)
We live our lives of conditioned love and in doing so, we hurt people. Having been hurt we keep our love conditioned which causes more hurt and the cycle continues.
GOD lives with unconditional love for all of us which is why we are never hurt by him. (Though some may argue that at the time... I can't think of a time where God did something and I still believe it wasn't the best way things could have turned out)
I feel GREAT knowing I can HONESTLY say that I love the Lord UNCONDITIONALLY. However, I have to honestly say I do not love the Lord with unconditional affection. I can not show God I love him LIKE I do. I know I do, and he knows I do but my heart is hardened and has a case around it because of my bitterness towards having been let down and so other things take priority. They SHOULDN'T... but they do.
As we come into this new year, THAT is what I want to focus on. Showing God I love him LIKE I love him. I'm holding onto the fact that God is the only person in the world who CAN love me unconditionally and I want to show that in return. I'm gonna fail... but I really want to TRY.
That is frankly a bit amazing and AWESOME to me. I know it's weird that I find it awesome that everybody will disappoint me but it is. I believe the single biggest difference between humans and God is that God will never disappoint you but humans are unable to juggle caring for more than one person without dropping something at some point.
God loves us all... unconditionally... and knows how to. We don't know how to love because we have been hurt so we live with a guard up. We do not love unconditionally. There are conditions to our love. Everybody has conditions to their love. Parents love their kids no matter what, yes... but if that child betrays the family... the love becomes very different. Those are the facts. It is nothing PERSONAL or sensitive... it's merely the way we work because we have been HURT.
GOD, on the other hand loves us with unconditional love. Nothing we can do can change how much he loves us and how much he does to make things turn out the best way they can. What is so INCREDIBLE to me is that we disappoint God every day. We are greedy, deceitful, unloving, judgmental, and down right DIRTY every single day. (Disregarding the fact that dirty is usually attached to a sexual connotation)
We live our lives of conditioned love and in doing so, we hurt people. Having been hurt we keep our love conditioned which causes more hurt and the cycle continues.
GOD lives with unconditional love for all of us which is why we are never hurt by him. (Though some may argue that at the time... I can't think of a time where God did something and I still believe it wasn't the best way things could have turned out)
I feel GREAT knowing I can HONESTLY say that I love the Lord UNCONDITIONALLY. However, I have to honestly say I do not love the Lord with unconditional affection. I can not show God I love him LIKE I do. I know I do, and he knows I do but my heart is hardened and has a case around it because of my bitterness towards having been let down and so other things take priority. They SHOULDN'T... but they do.
As we come into this new year, THAT is what I want to focus on. Showing God I love him LIKE I love him. I'm holding onto the fact that God is the only person in the world who CAN love me unconditionally and I want to show that in return. I'm gonna fail... but I really want to TRY.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Christmastime is (almost) here and OTHER thoughts. (LONG ONE FOLKS)
I can not BELIEVE that Christmas is 4 days away.
This part of Christmas is always weird for me.
I wouldn't say I get DEPRESSED nor would I even say I get DOWN. I just think I get BLUE. (Appreciate that I made BLUE the color blue)
I spend the whole season trying to accomplish THIS or accomplish THAT but in the long run ALL OF IT never gets done. I always have Christmas movies I didn't get to watch, places I didn't get to go, people I didn't get to shop for, and things I didn't get to accomplish.
This Christmas we got our Christmas tree early, I watched a lot of my favorite movies, and I listened to Christmas music all season.
I was also a part of a Christmas show at Willow. "Where Are You Christmas" was stressful to say the least. After 7 hour church days, another 3 hours of rehearsal was not on the "I WANT" List. But we made it through and I got to hang with some pretty cool people and work for something that wasn't INSTANTLY gratifying. BUT we did a show on Saturday (CALLBACK DAY MIGHT I ADD) for over 500 people struggling to get gifts or food for their family. I got to bless other people through it... and THAT is what Christmas is about. I WISH I got to spend more time this year on OTHER people.
I always hate being asked what I want for Christmas. I rarely WANT something yet every Christmas I am just so blessed with things under the tree. It's great and all, I mean WHO DOESN'T WAN STUFF? Especially now that I work I know what it feels like to want to buy something for somebody just because you care about them and you feel like you CAN but I can't help but feel a tiny bit... well GUILTY isn't the right word... *insert right word here*.
OFF TOPIC-
Life has been complicated lately. Not BAD or STRESSFUL. I'm constantly very blessed, trying to keep spending time with God. I don't feel lacking in my "walk" or anything but life is just COMPLICATED. Friends are home from college which is GREAT cuz I miss them all but it brings its own troubles as far as seeing everybody and the drama that inevitably ensues. Not to mention a show is starting off so people are falling into their GROUPS. On top of that there is still school and church friends and the work that needs to get done with those things.
OVERALL it just makes life complicated. I love my friends and am again very blessed but I have a lot of things I keep in constant prayer when it comes to friends right now.
I really feel God has been making some friendship changes in my life. Not saying he's been telling me to "cut people off" (hate that phrase or anything) but I really have felt God lately telling me to "just hold on cuz things are gonna shift". I don't feel like things are going to change for the worst or anything I just feel prepared for some differences coming up and I can't wait to see what they are.
-THAT BEING SAID, I am very ready to go to California. Like I said I love my friends BUT I think a break from everybody out in IL will be nice (yes, family included) Not saying I won't be texting and facebooking my friends the whole time But 9ish days away from Algonquin/LITH/Crystal Lake/Cary/Elgin/Huntley will be nice.
Moral of this whole ramble of a post- I can't believe Christmas is over here. I wish it could stay around longer. Everybody is happier and in good spirits but that doesn't mean life isn't still FULL. I'm looking forward for a break from IL so I can come back for the New Year ready for all the changes God is going to throw my way. I know if I hold onto Dad's hand I'm gonna be ready for anything. He's got big things planned... I can feel it!
♫Could it be? Yes it could! Something's coming, something GOOD! IF I CAN WAIT!♫
This part of Christmas is always weird for me.
I wouldn't say I get DEPRESSED nor would I even say I get DOWN. I just think I get BLUE. (Appreciate that I made BLUE the color blue)
I spend the whole season trying to accomplish THIS or accomplish THAT but in the long run ALL OF IT never gets done. I always have Christmas movies I didn't get to watch, places I didn't get to go, people I didn't get to shop for, and things I didn't get to accomplish.
This Christmas we got our Christmas tree early, I watched a lot of my favorite movies, and I listened to Christmas music all season.
I was also a part of a Christmas show at Willow. "Where Are You Christmas" was stressful to say the least. After 7 hour church days, another 3 hours of rehearsal was not on the "I WANT" List. But we made it through and I got to hang with some pretty cool people and work for something that wasn't INSTANTLY gratifying. BUT we did a show on Saturday (CALLBACK DAY MIGHT I ADD) for over 500 people struggling to get gifts or food for their family. I got to bless other people through it... and THAT is what Christmas is about. I WISH I got to spend more time this year on OTHER people.
I always hate being asked what I want for Christmas. I rarely WANT something yet every Christmas I am just so blessed with things under the tree. It's great and all, I mean WHO DOESN'T WAN STUFF? Especially now that I work I know what it feels like to want to buy something for somebody just because you care about them and you feel like you CAN but I can't help but feel a tiny bit... well GUILTY isn't the right word... *insert right word here*.
OFF TOPIC-
Life has been complicated lately. Not BAD or STRESSFUL. I'm constantly very blessed, trying to keep spending time with God. I don't feel lacking in my "walk" or anything but life is just COMPLICATED. Friends are home from college which is GREAT cuz I miss them all but it brings its own troubles as far as seeing everybody and the drama that inevitably ensues. Not to mention a show is starting off so people are falling into their GROUPS. On top of that there is still school and church friends and the work that needs to get done with those things.
OVERALL it just makes life complicated. I love my friends and am again very blessed but I have a lot of things I keep in constant prayer when it comes to friends right now.
I really feel God has been making some friendship changes in my life. Not saying he's been telling me to "cut people off" (hate that phrase or anything) but I really have felt God lately telling me to "just hold on cuz things are gonna shift". I don't feel like things are going to change for the worst or anything I just feel prepared for some differences coming up and I can't wait to see what they are.
-THAT BEING SAID, I am very ready to go to California. Like I said I love my friends BUT I think a break from everybody out in IL will be nice (yes, family included) Not saying I won't be texting and facebooking my friends the whole time But 9ish days away from Algonquin/LITH/Crystal Lake/Cary/Elgin/Huntley will be nice.
Moral of this whole ramble of a post- I can't believe Christmas is over here. I wish it could stay around longer. Everybody is happier and in good spirits but that doesn't mean life isn't still FULL. I'm looking forward for a break from IL so I can come back for the New Year ready for all the changes God is going to throw my way. I know if I hold onto Dad's hand I'm gonna be ready for anything. He's got big things planned... I can feel it!
♫Could it be? Yes it could! Something's coming, something GOOD! IF I CAN WAIT!♫
"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;
he does great things beyond our understanding."
Job 37:5
he does great things beyond our understanding."
Job 37:5
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
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