"That's what Christmas memories are made from, they're not planned, they're not scheduled, nobody puts them in their Blackberry, they just happen."

HOLIDAY FILM #2: Deck the Halls

Deck the Halls came out in 2006 and gained little attention.
Talent includes Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick, and Kristin Chenoweth.

Perhaps it is my love for the holidays that creates my naivety in what makes a good film, but I love these crummy movies that come into theatres for Christmas. (I can hardly wait for Little Fockers... which seems to be the only crummy holiday film this year. sad day.) They are low budget and often times lame comedies that all of have same moral- "Christmas is about love... not stuff".
SUMMARY
While all the above negative aspects are indeed true, I just love these films, namely, this one. The films centers around two familes who are new next door neighbors. Buddy Hall (DeVit0) is tired of feeling invisble. After discovering his house was the only house on the block not visible by MyEarth (basically the way around calling it GOOGLEearth) he decides the ultimate Christmas display is the only way to get noticed.
His neighbor, Steve Finch (Broderick) has lived in the town for years and has Christmas down to a science. The same thing happens every year to make the "perfect Christmas". When Buddy's lights and unconventional Christmas ways take off, a comical rivalry is sparked between the two. All the while, the men's wives and children are growing quite a strong friendship. Eventually the two men's obsessions (one over the perfect display, one over driving the other crazy) cause them to lose sight of Christmas. Leave it to the rest of the families to leave Christmas eve and refocus the men's sights. Do they change and realize family is what Christmas is really about? Watch and find out. (hint: duh)

I love the decorations of the holidays so ny movie that focuses on that is a win to me.
Honestly, it's just a feel good movie. There is no scene that is the same so it hardly get's boring. It's nice a short! (I hate long movies... if it's 1hr and 30min in and you tell me I am only half way through....so help me)
This is also film prior to Kristin Chenoweth becoming a gimmick... so that is always nice.

It's a simple movie so I don't really have much to say other than this movie just makes me happy. If Bewitched was a Christmas movie... this would be it.

Andddd I own it from Blockbuster... as in we rented it... and we just didn't give it back. (Yes, we payed for it eventually. Don't worry)
Deck the Halls is just a nice easy to watch Christmas film.

"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."

HOLIDAY FILMS

I have decided to watch and BLOG about as many Christmas films as possible this year!
Starting off with my all time favorite!


HOLIDAY FILM #1: ELF

As I said, this is definitely my favorite movie of the holiday season, so it is only fair that it is the first.
I never really feel in the spirit until I watch ELF all the way through and tonight I finished the 2/3rds that were left from starting it yesterday.

What is not to love about this winner? I know it isn't quite a "classic" yet but something about ELF just feel Christmas to me. In my opinion they have yet to come out with a better Christmas film since Elf came out in 2003.

I think ELF will always hold a special place in my heart because I was in my prime Christmas enjoying years when it came out. I was definitely old enough to appreciate the brilliance but still had the childlike joy of Christmastime to hold on to.
The character of Buddy is so wonderful, a guy who never stopped enjoying the most wonderful time of the year and I mean... he saved Christmas!

The humor is hilarious and appealing to both younger and older audiences.
The content is minimal which makes it perfect for a family Christmas film.
The sensational score by John Debney is just as crucial to the films success as the beautiful visuals of the North Pole and Christmas in NYC and the hilarious dialogue.

I really just think ELF is a fun holiday film. To me, it's an in-your-face "I LOVE CHRISTMAS" movie... so obviously it has to be at the top of my list.

Now... what should I watch next? Thoughts?

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I remember when STEVE went to college...

Summer is officially over...
Why is that sentence so difficult for me to believe this time?
I feel like a few nights ago with Jenn, DJ, and Mary I finally had a summer night like I was looking forward to.

My last summer of "childhood" as it was and I am not going to lie... it was pretty anti climactic. My summer was drowning in night after night of a rehearsal followed by driving to somebody's house and just sitting around. Don't get me wrong...sitting around is loads of fun but why did none of us take the time to sit outside this year? No bonfires...or stargazing...or anything that is supposed to be part of a stereotypical "summer".

Don't get me wrong... parts of my summer were incredible and a HUGE blessing...like NEW YORK CITY.

Everything about NEW YORK was exactly what I could want it to be. I had an incredible time with friends, I got to see some amazing shows, and I got to get away from Illinois for a little bit. I wouldn't trade those 5(ish) days for the WORLD.

I am ridiculously proud of the cast of "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee."

I am so happy that my group of friends set out to have a bible study this summer and we did! 6 weeks of a bible study is definitely an achievement and where ever we go with the group, I feel great knowing that we took some time out of this summer to just give time to our INCREDIBLE God.

But now, summer is over...and in a few short hours, I will be at Judson University starting a weekend of orientation because come tuesday, I will be a student there. I've seen a bunch of my friends leave for school, esp this year...I feel like my entire generation (give or take a year) is leaving OR is a Senior this year. How weird is that.
I keep thinking back to all my school years here in Illinois. Each year at Westfield was distinct and very different in my mind. My 3 years of high school are the complete opposite. They all blur together in my mind.
What I think is actually funnier is how I can remember most the years of my life in musicals... (NERD ALERT) I not only remember what shows I was in...but don't we all do that? No no, I also remember what musical was my "IT" show...hahaha (NERDDD)

HONK!
Wicked
Tarzan
Hairspray
Legally Blonde
tick, tick...BOOM!
Rent
Les Mis

And the whole world knows how obsessed I am with Next to Normal currently... The point is, all those shows resonate a different time in my life with me. Anytime I hear those different thoughts and memories and comforts come to my mind. Through those times I had different friends, different likes and dislikes, and so many other different outlooks on things.
In a few hours I will be starting another part of life...another major chapter in my book. Another scene in my show, another track on my soundtrack.
Through it I will make more friends, get new opinions, have new prayers, and probably fall for new shows too.

One day, I'm going to look back at the shows I listen to throughout college. And the memories of those friends and those memories and those comforts will come to mind. So, if I know one day these fears of the unknown will one day be comforts...what is there to be afraid of?

God's got it. He always had, and always will.
In the words of Peter Pan...Here we goooooo!

I kind of understand!

So I HATE when people I care about make bad decisions...
Anybody who has talked deeper with me on this subject knows that it seriously HURTS me to watch people I love and care about make bad decisions.

I can honestly...with 100% of my heart say that if I had the option, I WOULD undergo physical pain for them to be able to take back some of their actions and all the repercussions of said actions.

I was praying more about this tonight and I realized that the first thing is how I make God feel so often. He loves me so much that it HURTS him when I don't follow his way (the best way) and when I do things that ultimately are harmful to myself and/or my spirit.
God loves us all so much...and hurts so badly for all of that...and wants to badly for our repercussion of said actions (HELL) to be taken away. That's why he sent his son to serve as himself in human form to undergo that pain and suffering so we could be free from our terrible, terrible ways. He saw all the awful things I was going to do and felt pain. He saw all the awful things people I love were going to do and how much it would hurt me...and he again felt pain. He saw what this world would end up and decided that he still loved us SO MUCH that he would undergo whatever pain necessary for us to be free from it and to not have to suffer because of our awful decisions.

This made me realize that my pain for my friends when they make/have made bad decisions is right! That love for them that makes me want to be able to make it go away is a tiny example of Christ's love for each of us!

Now I know I am nowhere NEAR able to offer the LOVE he has for us... but this tiny little glimpse of God's love and how it feels...it's just really nice.

HE LOVES US SO MUCH!

I spelled "write" like "right" in my last blog...

Let's try this again shall we?

You know what I've realized recently? How much time I spend THINKING.

and this thought...makes me think (redundant) about what it is I THINK about.

I've recently realized that a lot of the things that take up my time thinking are NOT the things I want to.

Now, hold your horses. I promise I don't spend my time thinking about sinful things. I mean sure everybody struggles with a bad thought now and again but it is not what I am referring to here at all.
What I am referring to is how much time I spend thinking about things that don't matter.

I worry a lot.
I spend way to much time thinking about the future when I have a perfectly great NOW right in front of me.
I wonder what other people are doing all the time.
AND there are a few things that have been on my mind lately that I won't publish here but they basically just include friend drama which is never worth the time to dwell on.

I'm going to try to get back into the habit I was getting into in the Fall and beginning of Winter. I read somewhere that the best way to keep bad thoughts out is to fill up our thoughts with pleasant thoughts fixated on God.

Philippians 4:8 says
Finally my brothers, whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent and praiseworthy think about such things.

Worrying isn't nobly, or lovely, and I certainly don't admire those who spend their time worrying. In fact the Bible says worrying is a sin in Romans. everything that does not come from faith is sin. God also promises us he has it under control in Matthew. In one of my favorite passages in the Bible.
Matthew 6: 25-27
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
Love it. Simply love it.

God goes on to address thinking about the future in the same passage. Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of it's own.

Now, wondering about what other people are doing is different. I wouldn't say it is untrue or non admirable or any of that but it is unnecessary. Just saying it shouldn't take as much time as it does.

And finally conflicts with friends-that is not true, that is not pure. That is not noble and it is certainly not lovely or admirable. Yet I let it take up all this mind time. Time I could spend thanking God for things and talking to my creator.
It may sound ridiculous but when you think about it, why are we not engulfed in thoughts of out amazing God all the time? How come we don't get in our car and say a quick "thanks God for this car that I can use to get around in." How come seeing a sad person in the store doesn't automatically bring up a prayer of "Lord just be with them for whatever it is they are hurting over." Little things in life deserve so much more time and thought than we give them. I don't know about you, but I personally spend far to much time thinking about big things that I have no control over when I COULD be thinking about the little things I am blessed with everyday. I could be talking to God throughout my every day if I just made a little bit more room for him in my head by throwing out some of the junk that I let take upspace in there.

So that's my current challenge for myself. Philippians 4:8

Welcome Back.

I tried to right a great blog tonight....





I didn't succeed.




Another time I suppose.

Little Shop of Awesome/I need an attitude adjustment

Little Shop closed tonight after what felt like one of the best performances of my life. I'm so thankful and blessed.
The show was everything I wanted it to be. I gained everything I had hoped I would. Tonight I felt like I was living out my dream role.
I think back to the rehearsal where I was worried about if I would have a voice for shows and I seriously HEARD God say in my head "Do you really think I'd give you all this and just take it away?"
Amazing. just amazing. So thankful.
Here's hoping it's not over. (REMOUNT! REMOUNT! REMOUNT!)

SLASH

You know when I feel most happy? When I'm worshiping (like music) God and when I am performing. Otherwise I realized I am a very stubborn person. I get bored so easily and always want something new the second something starts to feel even a little old. I don't like things to stay the same too long cuz then I get bored and feel trapped (gross teenage angst symptoms) but if things start changing to much I want the world to slow down.
The only thing I don't get sick of is God and performing. I feel like I even get tired of the same people for too long. I realize that's terrible cuz I love my friends and family to death but I'm a person who just likes breaks from people sometimes. I have a few people in my life I love so much but rarely get to see so everytime I do I love it. I just hate the feeling of "expecting" to see somebody cuz you see them all the time.
I don't think I'm making sense.
I think I need an attitude adjustment.

I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve forgiveness.
I don't deserve good food to eat.
I don't deserve a talent.
I don't deserve lead roles.
I don't deserve a job.
I don't deserve a car.
I don't deserve a voice to sing with.
I don't deserve "mercies" that are "new with the morning".
I don't deserve a 2nd chance...or a 3rd... or a 4th... or a 1000th.

But God gives me all of these.
I am ridiculously blessed beyond my wildest dreams and he keeps them coming...? I am floored.

I constantly take things out of God's hands and say "Just let me know do it! OKAY?" Then God let's go... I break it... I bring it to him and say "Dad please fix it" like a 2 year old does to his parents with his legos... and you know what God does? HE FIXES IT!
I get mad and frusturated. I go to other people to vent and it can take me a good 10 minutes to a good couple MONTHS before I start talking to GOD about it but the moment I do and FULLY rely on him and rest in him to carry me through... HE FIXES IT!

All winter I have been losing my voice... dreading coming up to tech week. I have sang through Cinderella 5 times now (with dress rehearsals and 2 school days) and I still have a voice... thats a record for the Winter. I'm somehow still passing my classes in school. My teachers are giving me more chances to fix things.
Tonight I didn't get work done on time and didn't have time to study all week because I was crazy and said I would work all day leaving me JUST enough time to get ready and leave for dress rehearsal. I emailed my teacher saying I would like to take the test later in the week... praying God would cover my mistakes and sure enough she e-mailed me back (after I had gotten my homework done thankfully) saying I could study and take it Wednesday...

The worst part is... whenever a blessing comes around I get all happy. I'm in love with God again so drenched in awe of his greatness and his mercy and I'm so thankful.
Where is my attitude at? I should be praising God for all he's DONE! I can be amidst complete destruction and I should be PRAISING HIM but I don't cuz I worry about ME ME ME ME ME...

I don't deserve this but God gives it to me... and I am just amazed. Its times like these where I think of not only these "smaller" blessings like making school work out, but also his other blessings throughout my whole life. How can a God I am so wishy washy with care so much about me? All I do is ASK and he takes care of it. Mind you, he doesn't always say YES but he does always say "I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT"

Proverbs 16:3 has been my life changing verse of the week cuz it says "Commit to the Lord WHATEVER YOU DO and your plans WILL succeed." THEY WILL! I need wake up calls to realize I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE. I try to and I fail and God picks me up brushes me off and says "here take my hand I'll help you" and we start walking again.WE BOTH know I am going to let go and run up ahead. He'll say "Matthew slow down" and I'll say "It's okay I can do it." Then I fall and it all starts over.

God is ALWAYS there for me... and I don't deserve it.

I LOVE my God.

Riddle me this and minor thought.

Here's what I don't understand... and this is a bit difficult to admit because sometimes, having questions (as a Christian) makes us feel vulnerable with our faith... and we don't like that.

I know we are supposed to live life for God, not others.
I know we need to have a positive, Christian attitude towards things and HATE sin. God doesn't say just not approve of it, we are supposed to DESPISE it.
In doing so... we probably shouldn't laugh at that inappropriate comment or joke... because it's bring a positive light to something we are supposed to HATE.

But in today's world, if you get all serious on those things, like when anybody makes "funny" comments, or swears or something like that... it's a turn off. I think most of us just try to not go with it. Like, I do not swear... but others do and when I used to tell people not to... it made people say it made me a jerk cuz I "thought I was above other people". So now when people swear or make comments, I don't say anything. And when people apologize I say "I don't mind. I just choose not to do it." I can't help but think I shouldn't do that. I guess the best way to handle that would to just say "thankyou" when people apologize.
It's just tough. It's hard to stay FRIENDS with the WORLD without being OF the world. That balance of "hating the sin" without seeming like you "hate the sinner" is a really delicate one that varies from person to person.

Minor thought,
God's really testing my patience right now on some stuff. (patience is the wrong word... let's say perseverance)
There are a couple of things (I won't get into detail) that I've been praying about for a while. I finally see God moving in them but it's hard for me not to want to just rush to the end result. I know I gotta work with his timing though. Gotta love chances to grow... haha

I need to go to bed...sleep til I wake up... and go to work hopefully healthier than today.
One day to be sick is all I have time for. So much to do.

Other blog nobody but Mary knew about...

I deleted my other blog tonight.
I WAS reading through the entire Bible all the way and posting about it but I just fell behind and I know myself. I don't want to set myself up for failure.

I still want to read through it all the way at some point. But I started reading Crazy Love again and I think that there are other ways God needs me to learn about him. If I'm stuck just the next passage a night, I'll get stressed when I'm behind, or when I forget I'll feel bad. Also if I am tired, I won't keep an open heart to what I should read. Ill finish the chapter and then go to bed.

This is better I think.

Off to read Crazy Love and hit the hay before midnight! WOAH!

Here's praying my cold goes away!

I wouldn't say that EXACTLY... not EXACTLY

Now now, I would not say that I am a hardcore ORIGINALIST!

Matthew's Definition of Originalist

O-rig-i-nal-ist.
1. One who believes solely in a piece of media's original performers and/or characteristics
Ex. "He didn't like the Sweeney Todd film because he is an originalist. Also, it's very scary."
2. A really cool word Matt Silar made up.
Ex. "No, no, I am talking about originalist!" "Oh, you mean that really cool word Matt Silar made up?" "Exactly!"

Now that we understand my choice of terms, I can continue.

As I was saying, I am not a harcore originalist but I do believe STRONGLY in "a piece of media's original performers and/or characteristics"

The example that comes to my mind right away is... guess it...
SWEENEY TODD!

Let's look at the team for the film. Johnny Depp is the lead, Helena Bonham Carter is once again a lead because she's dating the director and one of the most successful directors of all time is in charge... the one and only Tim Burton. Throw in Alan Rickman and tie it all together with Sondheim music and you should have struck gold correct?
INCORRECT.

The film's ridiculous gore and tomato soup blood is only part of what takes away the original brilliance. While Johnny Depp does a fantastic job, he lacks the original "creepiness" of Len Cariou. Depp's portrayal is almost HALLOWEEN rather than DERANGED in my opinion.
The real problem with the movie however is Helen Bonham Carter. Tell me how she comes even CLOSE to the BRILLIANCE of Angela Lansbury... anybody? anybody? I thought not. Her performance had nothing to praise. Her vocals were week and her take on the character was completely opposite of the original portrayal. While I am all for making the role your own... when you are going up against ANGELA LANSBURY, you better have one HECK of your own.

The next thing that comes to mind is The Little Mermaid (The Broadway show)
The music, in my opinion, is mediocre compared to the original score. Alan Menken is a phenomenal composer despite most of Beauty and the Beast showing up in all of his projects since. His music for the Broadway production is GREAT, but it doesn't fit the original score. With Beauty and the Beast, you forget what songs are in the movie and which were written for the show. This is NOT the case with The Little Mermaid.
ALSO, While I am in NO WAY AT ALL RACIST and I think many of the diversified performers are fantastic, the Little Mermaid is FILLED with characters WE RECOGNIZE... We KNOW what they look like an I am sorry but

THIS GUY

WILL NEVER LOOK LIKE

THIS GUY

I'm just saying, some of the characters need to stay as they are... Sebastian would be weird if he was WHITE... I don't see the difference. Show me one white simba LION KING...
Also, need we be reminded of the last time Disney changed the race of a character on Broadway? When Toni Braxton was Belle... they added ANOTHER song to the already 2.5 hour musical.
But that is beside the point.
Second... Sheri Renee Scott.
I know she is great... don't get me wrong. Her portrayal of Kathy in The Last Five Years is spot on but her URSULA?
I know they rewrote the role to fit her character choice better but COME ON DISNEY! Ursula is probably one of the most well known Disney Villians just because of her song. The HUGE Purple Octopus played by BRILLIANT Pat Carrolll blew Sherie Renee Scott out of the water! (pardon the pun) Scott singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" leaves to be desired and her overall deviousness becomes this annoying WOE IS ME character.
Finally the changes they made to the plot still throw me off. There was something great about Ariel's FATHER making her a mermaid but in the show, Ariel breaks Ursula's shell of song and she gets to STAY HUMAN...? Basically Ariel get's exactly what she wants and just wants her dad's approval. FAIL ON FAMILY DISNEY, FAIL.
Overall it disappoints me deeply...

FINALLY
Let's talk about all these SEQUELS.
Remember when they were going to make a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel? Thank the LORD they threw that train wreck of an idea away. The original film is pure brilliance, if it didn't live up to it they would have completely screwed themselves over.
Then there was that window in early 2000s when Disney was spitting out DIRECT TO DVD sequels left and right. Tarzan and Jane, Cinderella 2 When Dreams Come True, Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 which was actually okay..., Lady and the Tramp 2 Scamp's Adventure, Lion King 1/2. (Lion King 2 was in 1998 and I liked that one... haha)
Moral is, I feel people see a great piece of work and try to milk it rather than just leave it be in it's brilliance. Sometimes Musical Movies work out... like Chicago, or Hairspray.
Sometime's Sequels are better than the original like Toy Story 2!
But sometimes, the original is the only way to go.

I'm not really an originalist... but I am.

Also I know the 2 main things I mentioned are a good 2 or 3 years old but I can still talk about them. It's my blog.

Realizations are always good things.

I had an amazing God feeling today.

I've been losing my voice A LOT recently... not just "my voice isn't peak" but like "Holy cow my voice is gone" losing it. It's been stressing me and honestly a bit scary seeing as how singing is such a HUGE part of my life. I am going to an ENT just to make sure there is nothing wrong. I hope and think there isn't but if I have a doctor tell me that, I will feel better... and if it is something else I would rather find out now and take care of it now rather than it affect me later in life.
But as I was doing something in rehearsal tonight for Little Shop, I don't even know what, I got the tiniest bit of fright thinking about what would happen if this was a show... and I felt this like RUSH and right away I was like wow... that felt like GOD. I seriously heard him in my head say, "Matthew, do you HONESTLY think I would give this to you and then take it away like that?"
I felt so comforted by my father in that moment... and it made me realize that I've missed listening to God recently. I haven't taken enough time to talk to God or hear him out. I wholeheartedly believe God is going to keep me healthy and take care of me and give me the perseverance to make it through both Little Shop AND Cinderella.
The thing is, I know that the only way God will keep it that way is if I am responsible and honoring. I need to take care of myself- eat healthy, go to bed on time, (Tonight is a holiday thus an exception) get my work done, learn to say NO when I should, and spend time with my AMAZING heavenly father.

I hate theatre.

I love theatre. (Get it? It's funny cuz the title says otherwise!)

I saw My Fair Lady at the Marriott this evening. It was probably one of my least favorite shows I have seen at the Marriott simply because, I don't think I am a fan of the show. There's a show that is full of unnecessary songs and slow dialogue.

However, I still left completely high on life... as I do after all Marriott shows. Meeting amazingly talented cast members always helps add to that. ;)

It's a love/hate relationship with what theatre does to me. I can't imagine people not understanding the passion I have for this craft but then again I can't imagine people understanding it. Theatre was something I was introduced to like any other hobby. I was a little kid and my mom took to see some highschool musicals (I think we knew people in them...?) and I liked them so we saw more. We eventually saw my first BIG show, Peter Pan and I fell in LOVE with what was happening. I REMEMBER wanting to meet everybody after but my mom, not being a theatre person, didn't know about the magical "stage door". Later I saw Sleeping Beauty through a childrens theatre company in a much smaller theatre and I STILL loved it. They had auditions for Annie and I decided to go. I was to scared to sing and I was super nervous the whole time. I auditioned for Hansel and Gretel next and got Hansel... from there on out I was hooked.

I've already reached the point to where I can say "Ive done theatre for over half my life" and I'm just ALMOST 17. I can't believe it's stuck with me so long...

Sometimes, I wish I thought professional theatre was my calling... but I don't. I know I am not good enough. Don't get me wrong, I do not mean to be a downer with no confidence. I do not believe God has given me a passion for something without the ability to do it, but I know I do not have the best voice out there and I definitely can not dance... and my acting abilities are just not developed.
That being so, I still can't imagine NOT doing theatre. I don't care if I am the 60 yr old man doing community shows at "the church" (that was most definitely meant to be said in a hick accent) I will still be doing theatre. Second to God, I can't imagine my life without it. Theatre has become a major part of my identity. (I hope JESUS has too haha)

I like to think that at SOME point I will do something outside of community theatre all my life. Who wouldn't love to try their hand at atleast SOMETHING professional, right? Marriott has open calls all the time and so do other companies... I'd be lying if I said I don't think I will go to them and just TRY it.

I don't think theatre won't be how I make a living... but I think it will be how I spend my life.
Right now, the hardest part is just not knowing what God is going to do with it. I know he wouldn't fill me with an overflowing passion for something if he didn't have plans to use it, it's just hard to see theatre being used in a way besides becoming PROFESSIONAL, you know?
Who knows? God could throw a curve ball and I could do professional theatre... God could throw a bigger curve ball and I could find a different passion along the way. (That is almost scary to think though)
Bottom line- I love theatre. I love what I do and I just want to keep doing it. I want to learn about it, get better at it, teach others about it. I just need to trust GOD that he knows what he is doing with all these wants and to just put my love of theatre in his hand and make it a part of loving him... then I know it'll take me where it needs to get me.

I'm really REALLY thankful God gave me theatre. I wish everybody knew what it was like to be passionate about something. I'd be lying if I said that I've never been given a hard time about it, but I'd be lying even more if I said it isn't COMPLETELY worth it.

Ephesians 4:29

Just a verse I wanted to remember.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I wish I could say I follow that as much as I like too. Sadly, I don't. I mean, I do not swear... at all, never really been a struggle for me but sometimes I'll say something small out of anger like "Gah they are so stupid" or something like that. I know I'm frustrated but in the long run, it's not uplifting. Gonna try to work with God to improve on that.

Mercy it's late.
Had 2 GREAT conversations tonight though, and I learned a bit about myself, AND I have some things to pray about now. :) God is great even if sometimes his lessons don't end til 3ish am.

(REHEARSAL, SCHOOL, and LIFE START UP AGAIN TOMORROW! I'M SO READY! BRING IT ON 2010!)